I write this for you, for when you mind worries, your heart aches or you sometimes feel that maybe you did not do right by him.
I hope that it reminds you that there lies no ounce of truth in that thought. And that these words form a balm to those painful moments.
He took me by surprise in the most endearing way one can imagine.
The excuse to start the conversation was a casual “let me help you with dishes.”
Was I surprised? Of course I was, since he had never uttered a word when I left. Not a complain, neither a disapproving remark nor a glimmer of disappointment.
With the most empathetic eyes he looks up from the dirty dish, deep into my eyes and asks me whether I am happy here, right now in this place, this moment.
The little rascal I knew, that impossible to manage, always annoying little kid was gone and there stood this warm big soul. Reaching out to me, trying to feel my pain, wanting to hear of my hardships, asking me questions filled with deep care and absolute affection.
As I shared the conundrums of where I was today, how I missed those little things back home, the smells, the foods, and mostly the people, I could see that he didn’t just know but also felt what I was feeling.
Heavy with wisdom far beyond his years, he assures me and tells me that I always have a choice and that you would be the one to speak to when days seems too heavy or life too complex.
Without ever saying it, at that moment we both agreed that you will always be the one to listen to us, when we really want someone to listen.
To make me feel better, he shares with me his happiness of always going back home, to his space, his city, his abode. Back to you, no matter where he goes and how home is where his life, his soul lies.
As I listen to his voice and how invested he was in me, slowly the image of the little boy evaporates and there stands a man who cares. I feel like I am engulfed in the warmth of his tender heart inconspicuously hidden beneath his frame.
He might still annoy, ridicule, argue with you and with me. For we know the competitive battle between us will never die.
But somewhere inside, lies this magical soul, nurtured by your love, your words, your actions and even your mistakes that has created the gentle giant who will reach out to aching souls, share a tender moment with those he loves and cherish the million small memories which we so easily forget, recounting them in the greatest detail.
He will always hold on and he will find his way.
You have done so much right and when in doubt, simply read these words again.
This week’s post is dedicated to the mother of that boy I once knew and seeing him becoming a man.
A poem by Prasoon Joshi on Maa,
Tujhe Sab hai Pata, Meri Maa
Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa
Yun To Main, Dikhlata Nahin
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Meri Maa
I never tell,
But I’m afraid of the dark, o mother
I don’t show it,
But I care for you, o mother
You know it all, don’t you, mother?
You know it all my mother..
Bheed Mein Yun Na Chodo Mujhe
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa
Bhej Na Itna Door Mujhko Tu
Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa
Kya Itna Bura Meri Maa
Don’t leave me in the crowd like that,
I won’t even be able to come back home, mother,
Don’t send me so far away
that you cannot even remember me, mother
Am I so bad, o mother?
That bad, my mother?
Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe
Jo Zor Se Jhoola Jhulate Hain Maa
Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe
Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi Maa
Unse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin
Par Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa
Chehre Pe Aana Deta Nahin
Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Meri Maa
Whenever dad pushes me hard on a swing,
My eyes look for you,
(thinking) you would stop me o mother
I don’t tell him, but I feel fear o mother
I don’t let it show on my face,
but I am afraid in my heart, o mother
you know it all, don’t you, mother?
You know it all, my mother…
Here is the song: