Tag Archives: life

Widowed Souls


There is a piece of land between the railway tracks and the main road which takes me home. Its unkempt, stark and strewn with weeds. Although a pathway runs below the tracks leading to the other side of the road, the barrenness of this no man’s land, meant that it was not used by pedestrians. This week I noticed the widowed and utterly ignored space been adopted by vegetables vendors, adding vibrancy and attracting those heading home just like me.

It led to me think how uninhabited spaces get adopted into ghettos, slums, bazaars and markets, that we eventually forget how cold and unwanted that place was in the first place.

In the colorful montage of life as it surrounds us today, the white veil of widowed spaces and souls surrounds us, paradoxically wrapped in the most vibrant colors. Look past the garb and her eyes tell you of the story of betrayal. The tale of her first love, made companion, who no longer is the person she loved when she was 19, yet married to him now, the father of her child.

The hurt of abandonment emerges and lays bare the pain caused sometimes by a trusted parent or loyal friend now a stranger or a sibling now estranged.

The late Leonard Cohen who through his music soothingly embraced all of humanity’s corruption, in one of his songs says that a crack in everything is how the light gets in.

paige
Paige O’hara Sculpture

But if not all humanity is created equally (in terms of mental strength at least), then what is the price we pay for the cracks we endure?

No matter how much we take hurdles in our stride, cracks show up and create a shadow of souls widowed, and tugs at my heart to see it unable to trust too quickly, love unabashedly or give another chance to friendships that beckon.

We are never the same at the other bank of the river. Fighting the river that we thought would carry us ashore but unexpectedly tried to drown us leaves gasping with disbelief.

But Oh widowed soul
Do you know that love pleads for another chance?
Do you not feel the strings of intimacy playing your tune?
Does the beating drum not fire your loins with passion?

Why not let the wind shatter the wall of disillusionment
Give the chimes of hope a chance to dance in the rain
Allow chirping giggles to overcome the deafening silence you endure
Or simply try giving your widowed soul a chance to bloom again…

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There is an amazing illustration by Zen Pencils on Love….sharing it here:2013-02-12-lewis.jpg

This week’s poem by Parveen Shakir named Barish hui to phoolon ke tan chak ho gaye.

Transliteration

Barish hui to phoolon ke tan chak ho gaye
mausam ke hath bhig ke saffak ho gaye

baadal ko kya khabar ki barish ke chah mein
kitne buland-o-bala shajar khak ho gaye

Juganu ko din ke vaqt pakadne ki zid karen
bache hamare ahad ke chalak ho gaye

jab bhi garib-e-shahar se kuch guftagu hui
lahaje hava-e-sham ke namnaak ho gaye

lahara rahi hai barf ke chadar hata ke ghas
suraj ke shah pe tinake bhi bebak ho gaye

sahil pe jitne aab-gazeeda the sab ke sab
dariya ke rukh badalate hi tairak ho gaye

Translation

As it rained the flowers had holes in their bodies made
The weather now drenched became a tyrant

How would the clouds know that while waiting for rain
So many tall and mighty trees had turned to ashes

They insist on testing the firefly in the daylight
Children of today have become so bright

Whenever a conversation with those away from home rose
The evening breeze with their words grew moist

Unveiling the cover of snow, the grass now sways
Egged by the sun the straws are now fearless

All those who would out of fear the water shunned
Became swimmers as the river changed its course.

Ending with Mr. Cohen and his amazing voice.

 

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Have we met before?


The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.

-Rumi

Somewhere in between wiping dust off book shelves, cleaning the desk and rearranging knick-knacks all over the house, a thought enters my mind: what if we have met before?

There is a beautiful poem called, reason-season-lifetime, and I use it many times during my experiences with others.  When that someone suddenly stops calling, or that person you thought you would share all your life experiences with, is no longer part of your life, I tell myself that the season has come to an end, or that they have served their reason.

As we grow older (I just turned 35 last month), the circle of people who we are sharing a lifetime with becomes closer, tighter and more defined. We stop giving chances to people who are coming into your life may be for a reason, or we just don’t want to have a another ‘seasonal’ relationship.

I am guilty of becoming that someone, and recently found myself asking why this new human was trying to find a way into my well defined, ‘I-have-made-my-choices’ life?

The social conditioning in our current setting today leads us to take predefined routes to reach people. Invite them for a party, chat online, emojis exchanged on social media or using that poke feature. All this meant digital nagging for me!

That is when this thought entered my mind: ‘what if they have known me before?’, recognizing me maybe from another lifetime.

Were we related in that lifetime, were we siblings, rivals or may be even lovers? Did we share a deeper connection?

Have I forgotten it, and may be they remember! Are they looking at me, trying to remind me of the times we shared in that lifetime, reaching out to me because they feel the connection , although they cant explain it?

Or is it just plain attraction, human nature at its most basic….

Have we met before?

Maybe we have……

regression

This is a lovely poem by, Ahmed Faraz: Ab ke bhichde toh, in which he takes us to all the places we might meet.

Transliteration

Ab ke hum bichde toh shayad kabhi khwabon mein mile,
Jis tarah sookhe hue phool kitaabon mein mile.

Tu khuda hai na mera ishq farishton jaisa,
Dono insaan hain toh kyu itne hijabon mein mile.

Ghum-e-duniya bhi, ghum-e-yaar mein shamil kar lo,
Nasha badta hai sharabein jo sharabon mein mile.

Dhoondh ujade hue logon mein wafa ke moti,
Yeh khazane tujhe mumkin hai kharabon mein mile.

Ab na woh main hoon, na tu hain, na woh maazi hain Faraz,
Jaise do shakhs tamanna ke saraabon mein mile.

Translation

If separated now, then we might only meet in dreams
Like dry flowers that are found in books

Neither you are God nor is my love like an angel
If we both are human beings, then why should we meet in hiding

Let the sorrows of the world and the sorrows caused by my beloved combine
The intoxication increases after all, when the drinks are combined

Look for the pearls of fidelity in the people who have been run aground
Only in ruins it is possible to find these treasures.

You and I are not the same, nor do we have the same destination Faraz
Like two shadows meeting in the desert of desires.